I do remember him......

This phase of my story is not so significant but God knows why I do remember the person till now.
It was when I was in class 3. I was the class topper then and was a teacher's pet obviously.
At that time three of us were good friends. Me, Dibyendu and Anirban. Of the two I liked Anirban more since not only he was bright but was charming too. This is my interpretation now since it is hard to believe that I had so much thought power at that age.

So me and Anirban were very good friends and I admit that I admired him a lot. I feel sorry to even say it now that I ignored my other friend Dibyendu although he was always there for me. I remember the vibes from Dibyendu which made me uncomfortable, for his friendship was different, he cared a hell about me and may be that was what made me feel uneasy in his presence. Soon I started avoiding him and I used to see that dismay on his face but I didn't care about it and spoke to him minimally.

In all this suddenly Anirban decided to leave school and I was pretty upset with it. He had left and only me and Dibyendu were left. I felt alone and during this period I felt more of Dibyendu's care. But it worked adversely for him coz I started to avoid him more. Soon I too was shifted from that school and thanked God for it. I was not sad that I lost him as a friend.

I was shifted to a girl's school. It was a comfortable environment for me as compared to the past but as I was growing up I became a bit of timid and introvert. Even after school when my other friends fled away to the boy's portion I shied away from any such being and came back home directly without giving that a much thought.

Some four years later..........
My parents took to an uncle's place. It was a big house with a separate room for kids to play. I was enjoying with my friends when suddenly somebody closed my eyes from behind. I couldn't guess who the hell it was for the person never spoke.
I was in a state of panic and suddenly I was released. I was unable to recognise the person since I felt I never saw him nor was he related to me anyhow. My friends told me that he was some Raja. I searched in my thought database but I couldn't recollect any such name.

Then the person opened up. He was Dibyendu. Now much taller, a bit manly and smarter. I looked at him with a fixed gaze. But suddenly all previous thoughts came in and I rushed to join my parents. Everyone understood my tremor and tried calming me saying Raja is a good boy. I couldn't reason out why I was scared but I promised myself not to go there anymore. That day I saw a certain sadness in his eyes but I couldn't help myself.
After that I made it a point that I would never visit that uncle's house ever again. Only once I had been there for a marriage reception couple of years later with the same fear and by sheer bad luck met him again. That time I had gone with a friend of mine. I do remember that he was flirting with my friend but from the corner of his eyes he was seeing me. I couldn't tell my friend to leave the place for she too was busy with him but I was transfixed with terror.

After that I never went to that place. I don't know what happened to him. God forbid but I even don't know whether he exists on this earth or not. But something still strikes within me.

Whenever I seek loneliness his face peeps in. I hate the very thought of him but he simply doesn't walk off from my thoughts. I can't say I hate him for he did not do any such thing, I can't say I feel something for him since I really don't have any such emotion towards him. What is it I don't know but there is still something.

I admit that may be I had hurt him, his heart perhaps for I did feel that and if he reads this I am really sorry for hurting you but I seriously coudn't help it. I am sorry Dibyendu and I hope you are very happy in your current life and always be.